Well, hello once again, my dear readers.Now as you may know, recently, I’ve been torturing myself by reading the novelisations of one of my all time favourite game storylines; the Assassin’s Creed series. Most recently I have been reading Brotherhood by one Oliver Bowden (as mentioned in my previous review, real name; Anton Gill), and I have to say that after finishing this adaptation (read spectacular storyline dumbed down and made to look two dimensional), I feel like my eyes are going to bleed. Some of you who may have read these works might even be sat there feeling the pain I feel whilst muttering “Why, Archer? Why would you submit yourself to that punishment?” Well my dear and considerate reader the reason is this… I simply had nothing better to read at the time. Now, let me just say this: it is not the content of the novel that is letting it down, is the composition of the work… YET A-FUCKING-GAIN! Yes, I know I’ve said this before, but there really is no excuse for this level of sloppiness from Gill, especially continuity errors from his own works. In the previous novel, Renaissance, he stated that the character Bartolomeo was a few years Ezio’s senior. And now miraculously he is a few years YOUNGER than our hero… Now seriously, Anton, you have nearly 3 decades experience in the writing game, why are you unable to make the most simple continuity leaps between your books? I mean it’s not that hard, or is it more the fact that you simply cannot bear to read your own drivel after you have written it because you see so many staggering structural errors? So many unfinished sentences, mispunctuated paragraphs and sentences, poorly spelt words (“Ezio blenched at the sight of the designs” seriously, this is something I am unable to let slide.) This book is in at least its third printing, how the hell did you, Mr. Gill or even the proof readers and editors at Penguin not pick up that blenched is not a word? I know he meant blanched but there is no excuse for it whatsoever!The description is somewhat lacking in the historical features of the city. He makes mention that most of the city is in ruins but that’s it. He makes mention of the Colosseum but he doesn’t bother describing anything. I’m not looking for pages of description but a little wouldn’t hurt. Once again I find myself struck by the lack of… well anything of interest really. The author has written, in my honest opinion, the most beige piece of work I have ever had the misfortune to read, and I’ve read (most of) Anna Karenina, so believe me when I say I know a boring text when I read one. I really am despairing for future novels in the Assassin’s Creed franchise. I sincerely hope that they replace the author. I hope they find someone who is actually a fan of the story and can actually write an enthralling and thought provoking historical conspiracy yarn, but somehow I doubt they will. Because somehow I feel that Ubisoft, in their infinite freaking wisdom, have hired their writer… on a budget. I maintain that if told properly the story woven from the Assassin’s Creed gameplay narrative would make a truly exceptional adaptation. But they are falling short because the writer either doesn’t consider a game adaptation to be worth writing properly, or doesn’t respect the obvious teenage demographic that the book is aimed at enough to write them a novel that is actually worth reading. This really is truly poor form from a publishing house as big as Penguin, and unacceptable from Ubisoft.Steer clear of this as if your life depended upon it.Happy reading and pass me that bandage for my eyes,Archer.